Wish I was somewhere else.

So another day, another dollar that I don't have. Money isn't everything, I know, but sometimes I think maybe it would be good if we had it so we could have our own house, maybe another car, or get 2 new cars, and just a place with nice furniture and a nice bed. All this time, everything we have had or owned has been because it was handed to us or we bought it from someone else. I've never bought my own sofa or dining room set or bedroom set or even a mattress. Even the car we have is because my husband suggested it. Don't get me wrong, I love my car. It's roomy and it's the color I've always wanted, but I didn't pick it out from the beginning. I wanted the bug. However, the wheelchair would not have fit so well. So kinda good we got the Camry. I have been kicking myself for years and coming down on myself that I don't deserve anything or that I'm just a loser and that's why I never get what I want. But maybe, that's the whole picture here. I've had things and places and family taken away from me because I hold things too dear to my heart and I don't let God do what He needs to in me, because I'm holding on to my heart instead of giving it all to God. Help me Lord. Help me rely on you more than what I know or what I see or what I am. I need you now more than ever. Help me be who you want me to be.